I am currently in the UK with my birth family. I left on short notice to be with them in my Mothers’ last few days. She died on tuesday morning after a long illness.
Over the last weeks I have experienced the powerful Woman I knew as she rallied, then fell again and entered terminal decline. I was there for the last breath; as she left. Her life has been a gift up to the last moment – and it keeps on giving.
I woke up at 5:30am with a bunch of stories rattling in my head about how I have to put my life on hold for the next week to be here in the UK with my birth family for my Mum’s funeral before heading home to my kids. And meanwhile I have a business to run… So there is a bunch I cannot do before I get back to Canada etc… Circumstances…
As I was lying there, I felt Mum’s touch. Not in a spooky way – just a clear message of urgency and agency, and how this way of thinking is not serving me or anyone right now. How can I make a difference in the world by convincing myself that I am stuck? What do I get from telling myself these stories?
Away from the foggy sea of what I make all of the circumstances mean – there are some facts. I came away in a hurry (!) to be with my Mum and birth family and do not have all my regular resources with me. Ok. Time differences mean that phone calls have to be timed to work transatlantic etc… Ok. I am away from my home and family. Ok. I am experiencing some emotion associated with that. Ok.
Everything else that is in my way of being in action in my life, I made up.
And I have a bunch of commitments; to my family here, to my family in Canada, to my business and career and primarily to myself. Ok. I have those clear.
From there, what is next?
Part of it is writing this blog post – something I have been putting on hold for way too long…
The clear truth is, we are all running out of tomorrows. Then we are running out of breaths. Then we go cold and our time here is done. And it is not predictable when.
And yet we behave as if tomorrow is in infinite supply. Weird eh?
We even put a whole bunch of familiar stories in the way of doing what we KNOW we want to do, doing what we declare is important to be done. Stories such as ‘time’, ‘money’, that circumstances are not right. And so we end up waiting.
No one is immune. See above.
As Coach, I am practiced and trained to look at this stuff and choose something else. To not get suckered in. And to support my clients in doing the same.
And it is a process. That is why I work with a Coach; to keep me moving even when my stuff comes up. And that is the value I provide as Coach; to support my clients in discovering the stories they have put in their way and in seeing them as just that; stories.
Stories are great; because you get to change them. You get to choose them.
What are the stories that are in your way? What would happen to you, your life if those stories were no longer operating? If you stopped believing them? What would be possible for you then?
Ultimately, your life is a story. You get to write it. My role is to bring the pen, the paper, the canvas, the brushes and to remove whatever is holding you back from fully expressing the life you desire.
Life is short. Make it spectacular! Unleash yourself!
In memory of Jean Margaret Goodeve; 27th June 1933 – 9th December 2014. Leader. Mother. Friend. Powerhouse. With Love always.