If you want to know what to do for you partner on Valentine’s Day to show them you Love them then pay attention.
Literally – that is it – PAY ATTENTION!
We spend so much of our lives weaving through all our doing with work, money, children, travelling. The million and one things we are handling daily to make life work. And within this we can easily loose sight of what we are doing it all for.
When you first encountered your partner in a place where your hearts opened and you drank all of that in – all of this ‘stuff’ was not playing. It felt – and feels when you tap back into it – wonderful! All of our reactions to everything going on for us in life were on ‘pause’. In their place was pure attention. Pure presence. A place where the fears driving our lives were on hold whilst we did something clearly far more important. Allowed Love.
What better gift could you bring beyond that experience?
And if it was really that easy we would all probably be doing just that the whole time.
So what role do gifts play? In ‘the 5 Love Languages’ Gary Chapman asserts that we all have different kinds of symbols, of language, that work for us most effectively in hitting the ‘pause’ button and getting us present to Love with another person. For some it may be gifts, for others it may be creating special time. It is not the same for everyone. You giving to someone else what you would like to get from them may not communicate powerfully what you want them to know and experience. That you Love them.
And so how about this; before Valentine’s day – ask your partner – ‘what could I give you that would show you how much I Love You?’. Explore the answer. Listen. Give your greatest gift of attention and find out what it is you can provide that gives your partner the experience they want of being deeply loved, accepted, desired. And take it on – go and create that experience for them. You might be surprised that what you have been doing and providing is not the most powerful symbol of Love to your partner. Discovering it could be a game-changer.
And perhaps make this a practice. Valentines day is a good excuse for having this conversation and generating, on purpose, the experience of what you are in relationship for. How about making this a practice for the rest of your life? Making this part of your dance of being together?